【英语小品】求幽默搞笑的英语小品比赛要用，要纯英文，5分钟左右，..._英语_是爹0089
编辑： admin 2017-15-06
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Big words of western tour （大话西游）
Chapter 1
Site：The wedding
Characters:牛魔王 、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖
Aside: The story begins with a wedding. The Bull King is going to have a concubine.
牛：Today is my wedding. I am going to have a concubine. Ha ha ha …….
妖：Concubine? Dose your wife agree to it?
牛：Oh! She is not lovely anymore. She’s right now at the Flame Mountain. She can do nothing about it!
(至尊宝从后台走入人群中)
牛：Let me introduce my brother to you! My bro!
Come here! This is my brother.
(牛深情地转向紫霞)
牛：Zixia, listen to me. I think I ‘ve fallen in love with you once I know you. I want to show my sincerity. So I request you to marry me in front of my bros. This Pandora’s Box is my gift to you. I hope you would say yes.
妖：I object!
牛：What?
妖：Zixia has a means to test her lover. If you can pass it, I will shout up!
至：What’s this? Really?
妖：This test is that she would marry the guy who can make her Magic Sword go out of the scabbard.
(剑从至的怀中落下)
妖：Magic Sword?
牛：Let me do this!
(紫跑出,拾剑)
紫：It’s not true! It’s just a joke. It is still meaningless even if you can put it out!
(紫跑下)
妖：King, Iron Fan Princess has come.
牛：Aaa……
(牛惊慌地跑下)
Aside: The monkey king leaves the front hall, running to back garden……
Chapter 2
Site: Bull King’s back garden
Characters: 至尊宝、紫霞
（至跑过来,突然看到紫独自坐在台阶上,于是走过来）
至：Why are you hiding here?
(紫抽剑,指向至.两人定格,至走出来,独白)
至：At this time, the blade is really close to me, 0.01 cm I think. But after a short period of time, 0.01 second I think, the owner of the sword will fall for me whole-heartedly. Because I’ve decided to tell lies, I’ve told many lies in my life, but I think it is the most wonderful lie!
紫：I’ll kill you if you come closer!
至：You should kill me! Kill me! I’d found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. I left regretful after that. It’s the ultimate pain in the world. Just cut my throat, please don’t hesitate! If God can give me a chance, I will tell her there words. “I love you”. If God wants to give a time limit, I’ll say this love will last 10 thousand years!
（紫长叹,抛剑,拾剑,抱剑）
紫：What can you tell your wife?
至：I have to tell her the truth. So I must get the Pandora’s Box back. Then go back with you and explain everything. But I hate myself that I can’t get the box back. I ……
紫：I help you!
至：No, it’s dangerous!
紫：You don’t want to?
至：I do! But ……
紫：I trust you! I’ll get the Pandora’s Box back tonight. Wait for me here at midnight.
(猪喊)
至：Let me do something to my boss first. See you tonight.
（依依不舍）
Aside: The night ……
Chapter 3
Site: Dungeon
Characters: 至尊宝、猪八戒、沙僧、唐僧
猪和沙：Master, master
(两人同时悄声说)
猪：We come to save you.
沙：We come to bring you out.
唐：I won’t go.
猪和沙：Stay here? Why?
唐：There’re full of obstacles in the way of getting scriptures. This is because we’re not united enough. So we let the devils do bad to us. That’s fine. This prison has no difference with the outside world, to me; the outside world is just a bigger prison. You go out first. I have something to tell him.
(猪和沙下)
唐：You come in and have a sit!
至：To be honest, I’m not your disciple. I don’t want to be your disciple. Master I know you’re a good guy. Please let me go!
唐：Do you know “dong , dong, dong ……”?
至：What is “dong, dong, dong”?
唐：“dong, dong, dong ……” is ……
(唐唱Only you)
至：Stop. Stop. I can’t take this anymore, please stop ……
唐：Ohoh ……
至：Damn you, you … I’ve said I can’t take this anymore. Don’t disturb or I’ll kill you.
唐： Monkey King, you can kill me. Life and death are very minor. When you know why you should make sacrifices, you will come back and sing this song with me. Namonitabhaya …
(至跑走)
Aside: The Monkey King succeeds in escaping form the Bull King, and he reaches the Spiders’ Cave with the Grapes. Unfortunately, the Monkey King and his friends meet the Queen of Spider.
The Monkey have heard that if the blade slashed fast and accurately, the guy who’s cut open won’t die at once. He can still see. So he asks the Queen of the Spider to kill him as fast as she could and to tear his heart out and let him have a look.
After the Monkey King’s death, he appears in the Hole of Waterfall …
Chapter 4
Site: The Hole of Waterfall
Characters: 至尊宝、观音
至：Goddess. I’m about to understand your words. I used my eyes to see in the past. What I was dying. I started using my heart to see this world. Then I could see all things clearly. That girl …has left a drop of tear in my heart. I felt her sorrow.
观：Have you given up all things in human world?
至：Yes! Life and death is just minor! …… But I don’t understand why can human’s hatred last 10 years, 50 years, and even 500 years. What hatred is it?
观：So that Tang Monk went to the west and got scriptures, which clean out hearts.
至：OK, I want to stay here, there are many things waiting for me to do.
观：I want to warn you again. After wearing the gold ring, you’re no longer a normal human. You can’t have human desires anymore. If you do so, the gold ring will get smaller and smaller. It’s very uncomfortable.
至：OK.
观：Before wearing the ring, what do you want to say?
至：I had had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”! If there is a time limit, I hope, it is 10 thousand years!
第二...
Wanderseveryfivemiles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”.
L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头,但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough?
(三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo
withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书＄1,000,000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L听到J的声音,掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒,挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲,MS打中了J身后的L,L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战,JM上,以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L,关切地问):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)
互助这道作业题的同学还参与了下面的作业题
题1： 适合五个人演的搞笑的英文小品剧本~谢谢一楼的TX.不过我想要的是英文原版的.不是中国故事翻译或者改编的那种.
好像就这个了...不过当初我们演的是阿拉丁神话
英语原版的吗?.
看看这个吧.如果不行的话...好像就没了...你可以去找英语原著找
题2： 圣诞节搞笑小品英语剧本急星期五之前要圣诞节搞笑小品英语剧本急星期五之前要时间不要太长不多于3分钟两个人表演的单词不要太难六年级水平内容和圣诞节有关[语文科目]
《亚伯拉罕献以撒》
人员：亚伯拉罕.以撒.二个仆人（小晴,小王）驴（需二人幕后配备）.
第一幕：陈设房间床榻
开场夜间：公鸡三声,亚伯拉罕出现.
亚伯拉罕在林中出来,听鸡叫（刚睡醒的姿态,双手开了门,在大门口度步看看东方（白）呀.天快亮了,我要进去祷告,拜一拜神,面对大众见证自已蒙恩的经历（白）我亚伯拉罕,耶和华把我从迦勒底吾珥呼召出来,带我进入迦南美地,还应许这地赐给我后裔为业,赐福给我羊群,牛群,仆婢众多,我一百岁神赐给我儿子以撒,现在已经长大,耶和华是我的神,我要敬拜他,（白后）进过门内,亚伯拉罕正要跪下祷告时刻.
幕后声音出来说：亚伯拉罕,亚伯拉罕!
亚伯拉罕说： 神啊!我在这里.（姿态立既跪下,举手望天,以下连说啊门.）
使者说： 你带着你的儿子,就是你独生的儿子,你最所爱的以撒,往摩利亚山去,把他献为燔祭.
亚伯拉罕说： 啊门（亚伯拉罕又走出大门口,向着东方远望,向着众人）
亚伯拉罕白： 啊,天还没有亮,哈利路呀,耶和华神呼召我把以撒献给他,哈利路呀,耶和华是创造天地万物大能的神,耶和华叫人富足,叫人贫穷,叫人死,叫人复活,都在于耶和华手中,耶和华叫我儿子以撒死,也会叫我以撒复活,哈利路呀,遵命,遵命.（白后）又走进门内.
亚伯拉罕呼叫： 撒拉、撒拉、撒拉、快起来,带着你的儿子以撒出来,有事分咐.
幕后撒拉应声： 我主亚伯拉罕,婢女就来.（撒拉领着以撒的手出现.姿态到了台前,撒拉、以撒供手同声说）：主啊婢女在这里有何吩咐.
以撒也说： 爸儿子在这里,有何吩咐,（亚伯拉罕姿态是欢欢喜喜.）
亚伯拉罕说： 撒拉、今天我和我儿子以撒一同往摩利亚山去拜拜耶和华我们的神.
撒拉说： 摩利亚山往来多少路程.
亚伯拉罕说： 往来路程需要六天.
撒拉说： 我主啊,以撒年纪轻轻,这么远的路程,他怎么好走呢?（亚伯拉罕有责备的姿态）
亚伯拉罕说： 啊,你真无知,耶和华是我们的神,是我们世世代代的磐石,是我们的依靠,我们敬拜神,应把他从小带到祭坛前学会敬拜耶和华真神,使他从小认识真神,我们应该趁着他还年小的时候学会存敬畏的心.
撒拉说： 我主啊,婢女遵命.
亚伯拉罕说： 撒拉你过去,预备好饼和水,作我们路上的食物.
撒拉说： 婢女遵命.（走进幕后）
（以撒在父母答话中,活泼的跳跃着过到爸爸那边,边跳边说：）爸爸,我要去,我也跟你去.（以撒早就站在亚伯拉罕身边,拉着衣服唱着跳着）
亚伯拉罕向着幕后喊叫.
亚伯拉罕叫： 仆人、仆人、
二仆人幕后应声：来啦、来啦.立既上台出现.
亚伯拉罕说： 今天,我和以撒往摩利亚山去拜耶和华我的神,我差你们二人往马栏里携一匹驴和燔祭的柴来,和我们一同去摩利亚山去拜耶和华我们的神.
二仆人同声说： 仆人遵命.立即下台.
亚伯拉罕说： 我儿以撒
以撒说： 爸我在这里
亚伯拉罕说： 你进去拿饼和水来.
以撒说： 知道了,（进后台里去）
（二位仆人和驴上台出现,二人同声供手向主人说）,
二仆人说： 我主人啊,你所吩咐的驴和柴都备好了.
（以撒连接上台出现）
以撒说： 爸饼和水也备好了,以撒把一袋一袋分给仆人.
亚伯拉罕说： 好,马上出发.
（仆人带着驴向前走着,以撒活泼地跳着向前走,）
（幕后音乐耶和华祝福满满）
（亚伯拉罕拿着刀与火石,关了大门,欢欢喜喜的唱着哈利路亚往前走）
（众人在台上转了两圈,向西边落台闭幕）
第二幕：陈设山石树林水泉
布好景致、幕后凑乐耶和华祝福满满,借着凑乐的声音开幕,众人在东边照着以前的次序一个一个地上台来,以撒还是活泼的边走边跳边吃边唱跟随着仆人往前走,众人在台上走了两圈,随着美丽的歌声,正走着仆人用手起来的姿势向前望去以后二仆人同声说供手
二位仆人说：我主亚伯拉罕,前面摩利亚山到了,亚伯拉罕也用望去.
亚伯拉罕说：好,到了,到了.
亚伯拉罕说：仆人们,你们两人和驴在山脚下等我们,我和我儿子以撒两人上山去拜耶和华神,我们拜一拜就回来和你们一同回家.
二位仆人供手同声说：我主,仆人遵命,二人就把柴卸下给以撒背.（仆人和驴下台）.
亚伯拉罕说： 我儿以撒,我们上山去敬拜耶和华我们的神.
以撒说： 爸,儿子遵命.（说后,以撒背着柴二人一步一步向山上走去.二人在台上走了一圈.以撒问父亲）
以撒说： 爸,请看,火与柴都有了,爸,但燔祭的羊羔在哪里?
亚伯拉罕说： 哈、哈、我儿,耶和华自己预备好作燔祭的羊羔.(说了二人同行,到了一个地方,二人拿石头筑坛,把柴放在祭坛上摆好.)
亚伯拉罕说： 我儿以撒
以撒说： 爸,我在这里.
亚伯拉罕说： 我儿,愿神祝福你,你要顺服,伸出你的手来.
以撒说： 我遵命顺服,说了就伸出手来.亚伯拉罕就捆绑他的儿子以撒,就放在祭坛的柴上,亚伯拉罕伸手拿刀杀他的儿子,正好举起刀来.耶和华的使者从天上呼叫亚伯拉罕,说：亚伯拉罕,亚伯拉罕.
亚伯拉罕说： 主啊,我在这里,（姿势亚伯拉罕立即放下刀,跪下举目望天.）
使者说： 你不可在童子身上下,一点不可害他,现在我知道你是敬畏神了,因你没有将你的儿子,就是你独生的儿子留下不给我.
亚伯拉罕说： 啊们,（姿态亚伯拉罕站起,解开以撒的绳索,二人站着,亚伯拉罕举目观看,望见有一只公羊两角扣在稠密的小树中,）亚伯拉罕说：看哪,耶和华自己预备羊羔作燔祭.（立即走到幕后,取了那只公羊来,二人一同把公羊劈开摆在柴上献为燔祭,代替以撒）.
（耶和华的使者第二次又从天上呼叫亚伯拉罕,）
使者说： 亚伯拉罕,亚伯拉罕.（父子二人一同跪下举目望天.）
亚伯拉罕说：我在这里.（亚伯拉罕在使者说话,叫几个啊门.）
使者说： 耶和华说,你既行了这事,不留下你的儿子,就是你独生儿子,我便指着自己起誓说：论福,我必赐大福给你,论子孙,我必叫你的子孙多起来,如同天上的星,海边的沙,并且地上万国都必因你的后裔得福,因为你听从了我的话,父子二人一同说：啊们,（亚伯拉罕教导儿子怎存敬畏的心,耶和华是我们有真有活的神.二人起来欢欢喜喜唱着哈利路亚下山,一步一步回到仆人那里.仆人带着驴在西边出场来迎接主人,）
二位仆人供手同声说：主亚伯拉罕,你们回来了,其中以撒活泼地跳着叫小睛哥,小王哥,站在驴边,
亚伯拉罕说：好,我们回来了,我们一同回家去,（前后台音乐节奏（耶和华是爱.）
凑毕行礼闭幕
题3： 搞笑英语小品剧本
百度搜一下英语西游记搞笑小品,看的笑死了
题4： 【谁有关于英语搞笑的小品,关于圣诞节的.】[英语科目]
请采纳我的问题
1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指,但竟没有一个同学注意到,令她忿忿不平.到下午大家坐着谈天的时候,她突然站起来大声说：“哎呀,这里真热呀,我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧.” 2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她：“你是否怀孕了?” “是啊!”女佣回道. “亏你还说得出口,你还没有结婚,难道不觉得害羞吗?”女主人再次训. “我为什么要害羞,女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗?” “可是我怀的是我丈夫的!”女主人生气地反驳. “我也是啊!”女佣高兴地附和. 3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服,就是把口子在后面扣上,可以挡风.一天他酒后驾驶, 翻了,一头栽在路旁.警察赶到： 警察甲：好严重的车祸. 警察乙：是啊,脑袋都撞到后面去了. 警察甲：嗯,还有呼吸,我们帮他把头转回来吧. 警察乙：好.一、二使劲,转回来了. 警察甲：嗯,没有呼吸了. 4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上,因为时常发生车祸,所以常常有一些鬼故事发生,有一天晚上,有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩,身着白衣的女人向他招手,因为这个司机没有见过鬼,所以大胆的停下来让她上车了,这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼,心里也毛毛的,所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人,开着开着,突然司机发现那个女人不见了!司机吓了一大跳,赶紧踩了一个刹车!只见那个女人满脸是血,表情狰狞.司机吓的牙直打颤.突然那女人开口了：“你会不会开车啊!我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……” 5、一个病人去看病,医生检查了他,皱着眉头说：“您病得太严重了,恐怕不会活多久了.” 病人：“求您告诉我我还能活多久?” 医生：“十……” 病人着急地问：“十什么?十年?十个月?十天?” 医生：“十,九,八,七,六,五……” 6、老师：“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗?” 学生：“能,他们都死了.” 7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱,蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的,蚊子说：“护士,打针的.”蜣一拍大腿：“缘分呐,我是中药局搓药丸的…” 8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆.夜半,起火,不明原因.非洲人见状顾不了那么许多,光着身子就跑出去了.消防员见状惊呼：“我的妈呀!都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快!” 9、一个人想出国考察,但必须得到老总批准.于是他向老总请示,老总给了他一张字条,上面写着：“Go ahead”. 那人想：“Go ahead=前进,老总是批准了.”于是他开始打点行李. 一个同事见到了他问：“你在做什啊?”他说：“我准备出国考察,老总批准了,给我写了‘Go ahead’.” 同事一见条就乐了：“咱们老总根本就没批准!咱老总的英语水平你还不知道,他这是在说去个头!” 10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说：“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言,叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下.”农夫将信将疑,他试着喊了一声感谢上帝,那匹马立刻飞奔起来,越跑越快.一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”.果然,马停下来了.死里逃生的农夫长出一口气：“感谢上帝………”
我打了很久,请采纳
1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years? Ten months? Ten days?\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.\"
I played for a long time, please
题5： 【搞笑英语小品】[英语科目]
英语剧本-《不差钱》英文版 v 英文剧本 Legend of phoenixv 英文电影剧本 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets v 英语短剧剧本The Pocket Money v 英语小品剧本 -- 孙悟空vs猪八戒 v 《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧） v 英语小品剧本 -- 英语剧本买药 v 英语小品剧本 -- The Pocket Money v 英语小剧本-----小红帽 v 英语小品剧本 -- 貂禅 v 英语表演剧本--小狮子找食v 英语童话剧：白雪公主 v 英语小品剧本-- 英语剧本买药 v 英语小品剧本 -- 英语剧本 魔豆 v 英语小品剧本 -- Big words of western tour （大话西游） v 英语小品剧本 -- Learn to love v 英语小品剧本 -- 防空洞英文剧本 v 英语小品剧本 -- 男孩和他的树>----中英文 v 英语小品 Another day in paradise v 英语小品剧本 -- 英語話劇劇本●傻子春天 v 英语短剧：Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs v 英语短剧：The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威） v 英语小品剧本 -- The Gifts （礼物） v 英语小品剧本 -- 音乐剧：Peter and the Wolf （彼德与狼） v 英语小品剧本 -- 英语话剧《新梁祝外传》剧本